Family Changes

Welcoming a new baby is full

Of changes no matter how many children you have or don't have. It's exciting! Older children may have many questions. The actual event is surrounded by a spiritual mystery. No one knows when it will happen, how long it will take, how it will happen, or have any knowledge of this new person. All we know is it happens! In God's perfect timing, all babies come and all pregnant women give birth! 

In addition to this new baby that we pray for always, my dear sweet husband is working hard to get a new job! Husband works in finance and to him, numbers are numbers. He has a job that pays our bills. He likes his co workers. But he doesn't like the industry or methods of business he currently works in. Husband is an amazing employee and a super hard worker. I have always been so proud of him and his diligence to excellence! People truly love him everywhere no matter what the situation. His job is no different. The Lord has blessed him with such favor and because of that our family has been blessed as well! Now he is craving a change and for good reason. He hates to leave us for 8 hours every day and we pray that someday, he can work from home possibly owning his own business. Having to leave daily and not enjoy your job is frustrating. He deserves to love what he does! Spending 40+ hours per week in an office, dealing with a company's finances, a person should enjoy why they are working! He has single handedly worked his resume up in a company he has wanted to work with for the last four years. He initially had a phone interview for a job within the company but it was not the job he was seeking. He asked about the job he was after an they referred him to that recruiter. They had an hour and half phone interview that went amazingly well! She passed him along to his, would-be boss and they had a phone interview that went even better! Scheduling with high priority within a company for three rounds of interviews is always complicated but they finally nailed down his final interview. It will be with three of the top people in the company on Friday starting at 1:00 and lasting until about 4:00. Husband is so excited! He prayed to just have an opportunity and he would do what he can to make it happen as far as he could control. 

Should my dear husband get this job that I have been praying so hard for him to get, it would mean a big move for our family. It would mean possibly buying a house for our family to make a home, which really excites my homemaker heart. It was also means moving right after our new baby comes. This makes a nesting pregnant mama feel uneasy. I keep turning it over to The Lord and trust in Him to work it all out! This Friday while husband has his interviews, I am going to tag along and scout the area. It seems it's mostly woodlands and very few stores and the like are available. The house we have found is about 15 minutes' drive from the nearest grocery store which is fine with me! I have my heart pretty set in this particular house and already dream house I can paint and decorate and make it a true forever home for my sweet family. We will e workin with our realtor to see three houses this Friday after the interviews so that we can have a good idea on the area and what's available. We definitely have to wait until an offer for the job comes in, which could be two more weeks, and husband will have to work through negotiations. Then we can place an offer on the house and providing the government gets their act together (we are using a USDA loan program), we will be able to close right before Christmas! Ideally, that is perfect timing to us! 

I have been working hard on praying for my husband and our marriage the last two months. Not just general praying but for specific prayers. We have a great marriage and I love my husband with all of my heart! He's my best friend, a wonderful protector, provider, and priest of our home. He leads me and guides me, along with comforting me and showing me grace I really don't deserve. He is extremely forgiving and loving. I truly don't deserve him but I am beyond thankful for him! I couldn't have dreamed a more perfect man to be my husband! Sure, we all have things about another person that drives us batty sometimes but in the end, he is everything I never knew I needed! He is strong where I'm weak and he's weak where I'm strong and we are a team. We're always accountable to one another and I can't imagine a marriage any other way! 

So as I pray for this wonderful man, who enables me to stay home and raise our family the way God has led us to, I have been trying to set my humanly, fleshly selfishness aside and focus on the blessing this would be to him! This would give him the job he has wanted for four years. It would put him in the country living like he's always dreamed of. It opens up an array of projects for him to do with our children. It affords him the ability to love where he's going daily and be passionate about the company he is working for. I desire this so much for him! I desire blessing and favor over him! 

For me, I truly desire to have a home of our own that we can make a homestead. I want the land for our children to have the freedom to be children and explore the world God has blessed them with. More than anything, I truly desire to live with my family in a place that is new for all of us. We have always talked about a great adventure in our lives and I am eager to see how God will use us in this possible great adventure! I must admit my selfishness, my sin, that I have always disliked the area we live in. Husband grew up here and that alone makes for loneliness, but there is some imaginary "club" that you are outcast from if you too did not grow up here. Husband and I got married young, and The Lord immediately blessed us with a baby before all of husband's friends and that separated me, especially, from being able to make deep connections with others because while they were out partying and having couple weekends, I was nursing a high needs baby every twenty minutes, twenty-four hours a day. And until you have had a child, the thought to offer new parents help never crosses your mind. I have had to give forgiveness and have grace in certain situations I haven't been able to understand. Now I realize that we are "black sheep" because we make different choices for our family that others feel is either insulting or wrong. We have made choices for our family that's BEST for our family, but others perceive that to be offensive. We are surrounded by all of husband's family and are always the ones going to visit. We've lived in this house for two years and have been visited by two people for about ten minutes. (Except husband's parents who have been such a blessing to us!) So, selfishly I want to move a bit father away so that we can meet new people together and enjoy new activities together as a family. I desire for us to grow and flourish with people none of us know and that know none of us! This selfish desire, I seek forgiveness for because I truly don't want to seek after something sinfully! More than anything, I seek after these changes to bless my dear family! 

 We have found a beautiful home that could be amazing for us! I am awaiting The Lord and trusting with sincere faith that He sees the desires of our hearts and will bless us according to His will for us. Never do we ever want to push for something that hasn't passed through the loving hands of our gracious Father. It seems silly to seek Him for things like this but I know He desires us to seek Him in all things. He has placed the desires in our hearts. Having boys and being married to a man, I know they desire adventure, exploration, man activities. As a woman and potentially a mother to daughters some day, I desire to make a home, to teach my children what a mother does for her family in dedication to the Word of God. And if I never have a daughter, I desire to show my sons what a Godly woman is and what to expect in the woman they choose to spend their lives with. I seek all of these things for my family because I seek righteousness and a life worshiping the King of Kings for my whole family! I am reading a new book that has me focusing on seeking God in every area of life, down to my responses and thoughts about simple things. I truly desire that every area of my life be an act of worship. That my humanistic tendencies never creep into my daily life. This is my job: my family. I seek the things that will bless them before anything else! Nothing prepares you for marriage and certainly, nothing prepares you for parenthood! As I feel I am navigating this path of life blindly, I know that while I feel in the dark sometimes, Jesus is my light and He guides me. My prayer is that I never overstep my Creator and that if it is not His will, that he removes the desires from my heart! I never want to desire what The Lord has not planned for me. 

So I pray, dear reader, that you will keep our family in your prayers! We face many changes in the upcoming weeks and months and while they can seem overwhelming at times, we are excited at the possibilities of this new life! Please pray that the desires of our hearts are answered with more than we could ask or think but also pray that if our desires are not the Lord's, that we understand without disappointment because God's ways are always higher than ours and His thoughts always higher than ours! Thank you!

Gardening and sin

Today has been a beautiful day! The weather is amazing! I love the fall time and it seems we are just teetering on the edge of 70 degree days and 50-60 degree nights. Since the day is so amazing and all of my household chores are done, at least enough I feel at ease to spend some time outdoors, that is what we did! I had a few flower beds to clean up, some plants to transplant, and I really wanted to get my patio gazebo somewhat bug proof! 

My oldest child, J, found a bow and arrow he really wants for his birthday. It costs $30. I so desperately want to get it for him but I am having to restrain because his kitten was his birthday present from us AND husband told him that he needed to either ask for it for his birthday, earn the money to buy it himself, or a combination of the two! In his effort to begin saving money, he decided to help me pull weeds and grass. He actually did a wonderful

job and I will probably give him $1. It literally took us 10-15 minutes! 

During our time weeding, J asked me why there are weeds and why they are brown and yucky. I explained how weeds are a product of sin and how sin is like weeds. He asked if weeds kill our flowers and I told him yes. We talked about how God made us beautiful and perfect like the flowers but when we allow sin in our lives, it's like the weeds and grass, it kills out our joy, beauty, and perfection and it makes us dry and brown. He was so perceptive and really understood what I was telling him. 

I know the Bible is perfectly cohesive and clear and concise in its presentation of the only true gospel. We should not add or take away from it. I believe this! It certainly was not my intention to do this in explaining sin to my child. In working   really hard on teaching our children about sin, their sin nature, and their need for salvation, I feel it is important to make the Gospel alive! It's important to me that my children can see God in their daily lives as they go about working necessary tasks and its my desire that everything they do can direct them back to the cross. Children don't typically mimic your advice but they do mimic your actions. My deepest desire in raising my children is that I lead them to a life of righteousness through the grace and mercy of my Savior, Jesus! We are called to be the primary educators of our children, not allowing others to pollute their holy temple. "¹⁸ Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ¹⁹ Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.²⁰ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates,²¹ so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth." (Deuteronomy 11:18-21) 

It is not anyone else's responsibility to teach my child of their Savior! It is solely the responsibility of a parent! Likewise, no one else should be teaching a child morality, obedience, or respect other than their parents! So far we have come away from children being raised in the home. Now children are being raised by tv, teachers, day care workers, nannies, iPods, and game systems. Let's vow to come back to the simplicity of God's Word and teach our children at all times of the day of the Lord's ways. Let us set and be the example to live by! This requires parents to be righteous and virtuous in their walk with Christ, yet when we fall short, as we will, let us show our children repentance and reconciliation. Did you know that you can have many different ministries but ALL OF US HAVE A MINISTRY OF RECONCILIATION that Christ has given us and expects us to utilize?  ¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creationhas come:^[a] The old has gone, the new is here! ¹⁸ All this is from God,who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: ¹⁹ that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.²⁰ We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. ²¹ God made him who had no sin to be sin^[b] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17-21)

What better gift can we give our children than to teach them the ways of The Lord when they rise, go about, come and go? This leads them to the cross and directs their eyes toward Jesus and I can't think of anything more I want my children to learn in their lives than their need for a Savior and their acceptance of Salvation!

One of those days!

I am having one of those days where no matter what my intention was when I awoke, it has been uphill from there! I woke, prayed, made beds, dressed children...just really purposes to have an awesome day enjoying my children! They have been such a joy to me. Maybe it's hormones, my increasing discomfort (from pulling a pelvic muscle), or just satan...maybe all three... It's been one of those day! The kind you want to tuck back into bed and have a do-over. The kind you could sit in your closet and cry in frustration. The kind that makes me re-think my purpose. Maybe I missed my calling and I need to look for a job outside of the home! That's the kind I day today has been! I'd like to yoga tonight but my torn or over-stretched pelvic floor is screaming just lying down, that that may not be the best idea. A pedicure sounds great, since I no longer can self paint my toe nails due to the watermelon I sport. But we are diligently working on sticking to our budget in effort to save and that spending was not planned! In this house, where I am outnumbered 4:1, there's no escape from the, "Mom can we... Can I... What are you doing?... We're hungry...We're thirsty...MAMA!!!  I need to go to the bathroom!" 'S! If I could have ice cream, I'd sneak away for a pint of butter pecan and lock myself away in my room with it! And considering how I feel about my day, the allergic reaction to the dairy might be worth it! 

It told Husband that I am going to stop

Praying and reading my Bible because the days I am diligent to set time aside for that are the days when everyone and everything goes crazy! Please know I won't be doing that but it's so frustrating! I know what's going on, though! God has a plan and satan sets out to ruin it! I've been through this before! I am just not as strong about taking the time recollect in the heat of the moment! In this is where my prayer life needs to be directed to!

The joys of today are:

We all awoke with breath in our lungs and right working bodies!

My children are healthy!

We face trials to overcome and defeat the plans of the enemy! 

We have a home.

My husband has a job that takes care of all of our needs and more.

We have freedom to worship!

Jesus lives!

Tomorrow is a completely new day! 

Praising God for His constant love when I am most unlovable and most undeserving. Praising Him for forgiving children who show me the need for a Savior through their sinful nature! I was softly prompted by God in my spirit today that one of the reasons He blesses us with children is to show us how sinful we are and to show us our desperate need for Him! This is so true in my life! I'm walking blindly on this path seeking righteousness and the only person who can help me is God! If you have one of these days, take comfort in that you are not alone! 

Our new dietary adventure

It's been a while, I know! We have been all consumed with our school days and I have been trying to keep up our home, while keeping current on appointments, fully potty-learning our 20 month old, and baby preparation. And sneaking in a bit of rest! I think we may have gotten into a groove here and just as I say that, I am sure things will change again!

The other thing I have been working diligently and researching on is our diet. For the most part, we ate what I would consider a better than Standard American Diet (SAD). Mostly organic when available and little meat, whole grains, and little dairy. Yet despite my children not being chronically sick, something had never seemed right. Particularly with my middle, X. I knew I was dairy allergic and have been off dairy for quite some time. When I have trace amounts, I suffer immensely for it with terrible belly aches and feeling sickly for days. However, recently, after eating, especially bread, I would being the same type of suffering. I knew I wasn't eating dairy, I was baking myself. But somehow I was still experiencing these symptoms of allergy. Or at least intolerance. Nothing I needed an EpiPen for! (Unless bees are involved!) So I began researching probiotics. I found the brand I would be happy getting for our family. I have pretty high standards when it comes to supplements. They were $65 for 90 capsules and you had to take 2 per day. That is only a 45 day supply for one person. I have five, almost six people. Spending $325-390 per month on just probiotics seemed insane to me. I want the best for my family, really honest, I do. But I just can't justify that financially.

By the grace of God, Husband came home and brought an invitation to gluten and allergen expo and along with two wonderful ladies from church, we went to learn more and find companies catering to this growing populous of people with these allergies. I needed to do something for my family. We listened to a speaking who spoke on Healing Foods. She is from a company called GRUB out of Charlotte, NC and she helps people who need information on healing their bodies with food. She showcased her Water Kefir kit and explained the probiotic value in it. She talked about her children and how she knew she needed to make changes. She talked about the tell-tale signs of allergies, intolerances, and sensitivities to foods. A light bulb went off in my head! I have been inadvertently poisoning my children because of my own ignorance and lack of knowledge. No one has ever told me these things. All along I have been focused on meat as the main aggressor to the body and eliminating our meat intake when really, we should be eliminating what is hurting us! I bought the kit, began our kefir journey, and the following week, cleaned our kitchen and pantry of all dairy and gluten products and am slowly restocking our shelves. I am learning along this process.

The evidence of the necessity is making this lifestyle change so worth it. My middle child, who I suspected had some things going on, has been my proof and feeling great after eating myself, has made it all the better. I have always described X as having sensory issues. He hated sheets, clothes, socks, shoes, water, anything that might cause his skin any amount of discomfort. The simplest things would drive him crazy and he has a personality that feeds it too. One day he could eat carrots, not problem. The next the sound of chewing carrots made him not want to eat them. He has never in his life had a solid bowel movement. And he bites his nails until they bleed. All of these things could easily be thought of as sensory disorder and I know that if I brought it to our pediatrician, she would have diagnosed him with that very thing. In just a bit over a week of eliminating dairy and gluten from our diet and consuming the water kefir, that my children call "Magic Spicy Drink" and would drink entire jars of if I would allow it, I have noticed a HUGE change in my body. I feel cleaner and lighter. I feel more awake and able to function clearly. I don't hurt after every meal! In X, I notice so many changes. He is sleeping all night. He is sleeping with pajamas and blankets. He is much more agreeable and joyful, which has been my prayer for a long time. He has eaten so many new foods, finding he loves sauerkraut and tacos for the first time! What I noticed just yesterday as he was bragging on himself, the child has stopped biting his nails! I didn't even really put the two together. I looked it up online and found that it is one of the signs of Celiac Disease. I told him about a year ago, if he would stop biting his nails, I would paint them. I am not a person who allows or thinks boys should pain their nails, but I made the promise because I never thought I would see the day. Last night, after baths, I had to actually clip his nails for the first time and then I painted them his chosen blue color. That will be taken off before his sleep over at his ultra-conservative grandparents' house on Friday or I will never hear the end of my insanity! I am just so proud of him! He played with a large group of children yesterday and showed kindness and compassion and love. This is a new child! Last night I made a HUGE offense! I allowed them a coconut milk ice cream sandwich as a special treat. They loved them! X woke this morning with a hurting tummy and such incontinence in his bowels that he actually had a pooping accident and was mortified. I feel terrible because when I looked at the box, it clearly said "Contains Wheat." What have I done? I got comfortable not checking labels at Whole Foods and slipped and now we suffer for it and begin again! The great thing from this is I know for sure what the problem has been this entire time! For almost 4 years I  have been hurting my baby and didn't even realize. I have been nourishing their bodies with what I thought was healthy food, never allowing candy or commerical dairy but all along, putting toxins in through offenders of the over-processed life we lead for convenience sake. At this point, we will remain dairy and gluten free. Husband thought it would be terrible because he loves cheese and bread since we cannot eat out, I have been cooking wonderful meals, simple but wonderful, and he is in food Heaven. He said if I continue to cook like this, he wills stay gluten and dairy free forever. Not only at home but even when he is eating out with co-workers, he is following the lifestyle change.

Many people look at this move as drastic or over the top. Many see it as jumping on some new craze bandwagon. Many just think it's ridiculous! In the South, it's usually the latter. This comes from a place of uneducation and ignorance. No one is setting out to offend you with their food choices. What I have found is this is the line of eating to live or living to eat. In our home, we choose to Glorify our Creator and in doing that, have always said that food is our biggest expense as food is the source of health and glory to the King in keeping the temple of the Holy Spirit clean. God did say that all food was clean that you could find on the earth. However, I challenge you to explore the source of the foods you eat. Are they from the earth or from a factory? Are they in their natural state or altered for faster production and fiscal gain? Are they as God created them in the first 7 days of the world's existence or have they been genetically, hormonally, and unnaturally altered? If we could find raw dairy and raw dairy products, we would happily consume dairy because I know with my allergy, I can easily consume raw forms of dairy just fine. But we live in a state where raw dairy sale is illegal so we omit it! If I could grow my own wheat from a non-GMO source, soak it as it once was done, and be sure that the handling process was done as it was 100 years ago, we would eat bread. But I can't do that at this point so we omit it. We can find organic, grass fed beef and chicken so we consume those things!

The bottom line is this: I live for my family. They are my full time job. You do your best work at your job to keep your job. If I am not doing my best work here, then I should lose my job! I love my job and I feel it's the best job on the planet and there is NOTHING I would rather do. I research a lot to be sure I have the best information and am applying it the best ways. Gluten and Dairy free is not for everyone. I don't think you should eliminate things from your diet unless they are aggressors to your body. I happen to believe that anything processed is an aggressor to any one's body and we truly don't know what it feels like to feel healthy and good because from the womb, we have been poisoned unknowingly. I do feel, however, that everyone should do an elimination diet for 21 days and slowly add foods back in to find out if they have been feeling sick and never truly knew. For every person, this process will look different. For us, it's been easy to go cold turkey. If we have cheats, we'll never make the entire jump. For some it may be a slow process. Clearly, I am making mistakes along the way and we are learning from them. This is what life is all about. Be an advocate for yourself! Stand up and be proud of your choices and knowing that you are doing what is going to give you the best life possible. As a mother, no one is going to advocate for my child but me and I must defend them in all ways possible. I have been entrusted with these little souls and the responsibility to raise them in the ways they should go. I happen to believe this is the way to a healthy life for my family and I educate my children on the reasons why. Just so you know, they don't feel they are missing anything so far. But we haven't been to eat at any one's house yet. We may have to decline any invitations for some time!

Pet Responsibility

For a while now, J, has pleaded his case for having a kitten. Husband has shot the idea down time and time again much to J's sadness. So I had a long discussion with Husband about teaching responsibility, instilling compassion, and how even though we may not like things when our children do and are delighted, that transpires over to us. J and I sat and made a proposal for Husband to review. This included: the kitten would be a birthday present, we would seek one from a shelter to be sure we are giving a home to a needy pet, it would be very young, have short fur that is not white, and lastly, all of the responsibility for this kitten would be J's which involves particularly, cleaning the litter daily and sweeping the floor if litter was on it. He would also feed and water his kitten. J's specific requirements were that the kitten would be grey and have some stripes. 

After presenting the proposal to Husband, he relented saying it could be a birthday present but that he wanted nothing to do with it because he "doesn't like cats!" I believe this is a nature vs nurture inheritance as his dad is the same way whereas I grew up with a cat and prefer house cats to house dogs! Husband prefers no house pets but is a dog owner! Cats are easy and low maintenance but dogs are needy creatures. 

After our nature walk and picnic lunch last Friday I thought it would be good for the boys to take a field trip to the animal shelter to see what it means to adopt a pet that wouldn't have a home otherwise. I honestly didn't expect them to have any kittens. We have been before and although they had young cats, they've never had baby kittens. Low and behold, they had a litter of three WILD WILD WILD kittens. They were climbing the cage and yelling so loud for attention. I felt bad for them but knew immediately that I was not going to have a wild kitten in our house! J was set on one of those kittens! Then I heard a wonderful raspy meow down a few cages and there was a cute and calm little grey kitten with black stripes. I mean little!!! I deterred J's attention that way and he was smitten! The man that worked there let J hold him and J fell in love! It was explained that we needed to talk with daddy and make sure we had permission and we needed to get supplies. The shelter was closed over the weekend so if we were allowed, we would pick him up the following Monday. J called Husband at work and pleaded his case about how the kitten would be his early birthday present (since his birthday is in October) and how this kitten was his perfect kitten. Husband said he'd rather I just brought the kitten home so he didn't have a say in it at all. So all weekend, J and I gathered the proper kitten supplies and each time we purchased something, I reminded him of how this was the only gift he was getting from Mom and Dad for his birthday. Kittens are free to adopt from our shelter because they have no vet care and you are responsible for their shots and spay/neuter. The supplies came to about $40 including the shots we will do ourselves. The vet bill for an initial visit was $47 and then I had to make the appointments for rabies and his neuter for later in the year. Hopefully I stumble upon on a rabies clinic and the vet is reasonable with the neuter. I would prefer to declaw as in humane as people feel that is but he's doing well so far with me clipping his nails and not scratching so we shall see. Husband doesn't think I should declaw which I feel is his ulterior motive for putting the cat outside at some point! If we have a cat, it will be indoors! I don't like the germs and such cats bring home and I don't want to have to explain why the cat ended up dead to my sweet hearted child who adores him! 

After a week of having this super adorable, super tiny kitten, I have to say I am impressed! He is already a part of our family. J loves him and checks on him all of the time. I made a chart for him and he daily does his pet chart without me having to ask. He has been told, very seriously, that if he neglects to care for this kitten, the kitten will be given away. Husband is serious about that! And would have zero remorse. So, I encourage him to stick with it! In J's excitement, he called my mom and told her all about his kitten and when she asked what she could send him for his new kitten, he said, "Well, how about money so I can buy food and litter for my kitten?" 

I believe six is a magical age where reason and understanding really ignite. J will be turning six soon and I see these new traits coming out in him. He's becoming a boy now and less of a baby. Although he's so tall, it's been a while that he physically looked like a baby, but he held a lot of baby personality to me still for a while but I am noticing it is about extinct. I am enjoying this new season with him and having sound conversations about life. He is a joy to my heart and I adore him! This kitten endeavor has opened my eyes to a child's excitement. 

A Woman Post Only!

Ha ha! "No Boys Allowed! Girl's Club!" 

Well really, it's true! What do guys know about bras? I have discovered, possibly behind the curve, the most comfortable bra on the planet! I was skeptical at first but after battling with pregnancy breasts that are heavy and need extra support from increased sensitivity I decided to give it a go! I couldn't see spending $40 per bra for a regular fully supportive to when in a few months I will need the same support with nursing capabilities. I have tried many nursing bras and none have given the support I really desire and need to combat back pain. 

At a regular big box store, I believe two of these bras run $20 or so. Not too bad. But at BJ's Warehouse, you get 3/$20. Awesome!!! One white, one nude, on black! So I bit the bullet and bought a package. Best decision ever! So good that I just went and bought another pack! 

What is this magical device that has saved me from the bra demons? 

It's the Genie Bra! It is some magical lamp of sorts that you get three wishes granted! At least if you buy them at BJ's you get three of them in a package. I encourage you to try them. I live using them for everyday and for my yoga practice. I cannot speak for any of their other products as I have not used them. The only "complaint" I might have about these bras is that they aren't concealable under a spaghetti strap style top. The average bra at Victoria's Secret costs $40. Here you get 3 for $20. Quite the deal! 

Baby needs to save money

As I am preparing for a new baby, I am making a list of the thing I need. Thinking back to my first time making a baby registry, I WISH someone had told me what I am about to tell you:

BABIES NEED VERY LITTLE OTHER THAN THEIR MAMA! 

As a seasoned mama, take my word for it! I use less and less things for baby! Redirect your funds to quality items you do need, that I find I couldn't really do without especially having other children.

It goes without saying, yet I will say it, save your money on artificial food and give your baby the best, BREASTMILK! Human babies were made to consume human milk! If you are struggling, see a lactation consultant and join a local Le Leche League! I am very active in ours and am so happy to help others! I struggled with my oldest, J, our entire 18 months with low milk supply, slow weight gain, infrequent bowel movements, and generally high needs. Our second child was a breeze! Our third we struggled immensely with allergies and elimination diet. Through them all, we persevered because we never gave ourselves another choice! To us, there isn't one. 

Save your money on a wipe warmer and use your arm or leg. Seriously! I always change my babies on the floor or on my bed and before I change them, I pull two or three wipes out and drape them over my bare arm or leg. By the time I have undressed, de-diapered, and checked out the present, the wipes are perfect body temperature and baby is perfectly happy. 

FOR NEW BABY WITH A STARTLE REFLEX: make diaper time and bath time much more pleasant and swaddle baby's arms. During a change, I always tuck a blanket tightly around baby's arms and chest and tuck behind them. This keeps their arms from flailing and them from screaming because this mama can't handle a screaming baby! It makes my heart shatter! During bath time, use a hand towel to cover their body and pour water over them to keep them warm! Again, no screaming! I often opt to bathe with my snuggle bug! This encourages milk production as well as skin to skin contact and the relaxing water environment baby grew in for 10 months! It can be wonderful therapy for baby and a nice calming time for mama before bedtime after the older children have gone to bed.

Needs:

1.) car seat. We all need one. Save your money though and buy a convertible car seat. Yes, the buckets in lovely patterns have some appeal and being able to break your back carrying them seems great! However, the average infant seat is outgrown before 12 months so why spend double the money when you can buy one seat from infant to booster? 

2.) a good front carrier that won't break your back. The ergo baby carrier is my top pick! It's perfectly ergonomical for you and your baby. The wraps are nice but they make me sweat and I don't like to be hot! The investment also eliminates your need for those pesky infant car seats. Just snuggle baby up out of his/her seat at Target and baby will fall back asleep to your heartbeat and warm touch. If you need, you can nurse baby in the carrier while doing all of your grocery shopping! The Ergo has a nice hood that snaps us for privacy and people never know I am nursing while on the go! Www.babysteals.com often have them for about $50 which is up to 1/2 off! Snag one up when you can!

3.) Aden and Anais swaddling blankets. You typically get 4 for $35 and they are marvelous! They swaddle baby nice and snug while not making baby sweat. They also double as awesome nursing covers while out and about. I typically tuck mine into my bra strap and baby is happy!

 

4.) diapers! This may surprise you but I advocate disposables AND cloth! I love Bumgenius for cloth! Www.cottonbabies.com always has great deals! I make my own cloth wipes out of flannel and my own wipe spray for them. Using disposable wipes makes a mess when you forget one in a diaper and you have an extra item to toss away. Cloth just folds in until you wash! Cloth is amazing but there is a definite learning curve! If you go this route, invest in a diaper sprayer. 100% breastfeeding babies have water soluble poo so you need not pre-rinse but once you intro solids, you'll be happy for the sprayer!  

I also endorse disposables as long as you are buying environmentally friendly ones free of chemicals that harm your baby! We have tried many different kinds and have fallen in love with Honest diapers and wipes. Www.honest.com The patterns are adorable, they deliver to your door, and are the best quality diaper I have ever used! Plus, they don't reek of the awful chemical smell. 

5.) onesies! The only onesies I use for my babies are Carter's. They are the only ones that fit my babies. And they have some forgiving stretchiness to them. If you find a brand that works for you, don't mess with what works! Be brand loyal! I have wasted money trying to be cheap! If buying new is cost prohibitive for you, as it is for me because I don't believe in buying new things, visit your local Kid 2 Kid and buy used, save the difference! I'd love to tag along with you ;-) 

That's all! 

"Wait!" You say! "What about cribs, themes, paci's, and bottles?" 

We don't believe in many of the modern baby items. We co-sleep with our precious little babies. Visit www.drsears.com to gain an understanding of safe co-sleeping. Our breastfeeding relationship flourishes best this way and mama gets the most sleep this way! Our babies never have had their own room! With our first we made a beautiful nursery and he never slept there for even 1 minute! It quickly turned to an office and we have never gone down that road again! Who likes to sleep alone? We were not created to be alone! J slept in a twin bed against our king bed until he was almost 3, when X was about 1, and they began sharing a room together. Now, all three boys share a room and no one would have it any different! J sleeps on the top bunk and X and M sleep on the bottom full bunk snuggled together! Rooms are a place for sleep and rest.  We do not allow toys in there or play in there. We have many other rooms in our home for those things! 

We don't believe in mama substitutes that many find in paci's. None of our children have ever taken a paci despite my pleads during all night nursing marathons and I have written them off! While we don't really believe in bottles either, asking a sitter to spoon feed breastmilk to our baby is unreasonable. We don't leave our babies until they are at least eating solids which in our house begins at about 9 months on average. I have an electric breast pump but prefer to use a manual one. Since I have struggled with my milk supply and don't pump often, pumping is frustrating and stressful for me and I have to pump as often as I can over a week to plan to leave baby with a sitter so I have enough milk stored up. We use glass bottles, Lifefactory are our preferred but Gerber makes them quite cheap and Target has them! 

While we do have some other baby items, none of them are necessities! We have a jumper for a prewalker who is at least ready for foot pressure, so I can have supper going and entertain baby. We also have a high chair which we just got and have never had before! It will be neat to have a baby use one this time around. We got a 4 in 1 so we could use it on the go and at home! Clothes are necessity but never in excess! Our babies live mostly in onesies! Socks are a nightmare because they never fit our babies! We have infant Robeez that we love and use all of the time. We also use them with our babies when they start walking. Hard soled shoes can actually be a detriment and our pediatrician recommended leaving our babies barefoot as much as possible. The Robeez give them the sense and feel of barefoot while protecting them with a moccasin type bottom! 

I make several item that I just desire to have and it calms my nesting problem too! I make my own burp cloths, the Aforementioned cloth wipes, wet bags, bibs... I am interested in making some nursing gowns for sleep also that have buttons or snaps so that when I don't need access, I feel modest and covered! 

I have a few items that are purely wants but that I love: 

Tommee Tippee bibs. They have a neck that is thicker and keeps cheese from drool and milk dribble from forming in your baby's neck! Bibs are great for saving your baby clothes for another child. Sometimes it takes months of storage for milk stains to appear! 

A baby food maker and storage pouches. I love these! Baby Breeza has one that I really want! I have always made our baby food for on the go situations even though we don't spoon feed but instead encourage table solids when baby can grasp and eat alone (baby led feeding). 

Baby soap and lotion. Water is plenty to clean your baby and coconut oil wonderful for lotion. But already having three boys that need a good wash, two with sensitive skin and one with skin bumps, I have to be very picky about soaps and lotions, but we do need them! I have found a brand, gone away from it because Target stopped carrying it, and gone back since I found I can buy it through their website direct. We LOVE LOVE LOVE 'Say Yes to Carrots'. As a wash, Dr. Bronners is our preferred wash but its not tear free and with babies, that's okay but toddlers are movers in the bath! 

Honestly, I cannot think of anything else! There are entire stores devoted to baby items and while these items are all nice, most are a marketing technique boasting convenience to get you to spend your money! You don't need them! You just want them! Nothing is as satisfying to your baby as you are. So prop up your feet and snuggle your baby, for the days are long but the years short and you'll regret allowing your baby swing to monopolize your baby!