Many of my friends and all of my family know that I am a huge homebirth advocate. I have planned (am planning) 4 homebirth and have successfully had two. My first ended in a transport for several reasons. We have always used the same midwife, though her practice was inactive for many years. Because she was a dear friend of ours, she just planned to be there for us and this time, she felt uneasy about it. The reason why is because North Carolina has criminalized midwives for providing safe care for mothers and babies in their most vulnerable time. We have such a backward government we live under and if more people stood up against them, they would not be able to get away with this crazy, financially driven nonsense. Arresting and prosecuting midwives who have amazing stats for providing loving and gentle, yet thorough care for mothers and babies seems asinine. And it truly is! I should clarify that Certified Nurse-Midwives (CNM's) are legal in North Carolina. Personally, these are not midwives that I prefer. They are far too medical minded for me and push for things that I would rather just see a doctor for. Visits with them are not loving and gentle to me but instead, pushy and clinical. It's just not my preference. Certified Profession Midwives (CPM's) are midwives who have completed their courses to become a midwife and have put in, likely more hours, than CNM's of real, live births. They are highly skilled under other midwives and while they can and do offer some medical routes of testing and such, they are usually pretty flexible with a clients declining. Visits tend to be calm and fun, with lots of talking and warm embraces. Direct-Entry Midwives (DEM's) or Lay-Midwives are USUALLY midwives who have completed the credentials to be CPM's but just decided not to become certified. This typically keeps them off of "the list" of local CPM's should the authorities start prosecuting. This is happening now! However, there are DEM/Lay-midwives who are highly untrained as well, having completed none of the courses needed to be certified. They usually don't have much of a practice because most people are unwilling to use them but they are out there and they CAN be dangerous because they do lack the skills and experience.(**These are all my own interpretations of the definition of midwives based on my experience. Feel free to set me straight!)
For this birth, we toyed with the idea of birthing unassisted. While I felt peace about it in the event that I must, I would rather not. The hospital is less than 2 miles from our house if we needed it and I felt we could handle it. But post baby, no mama wants to be thinking of herself. She wants to marvel in her baby and love her husband for this beautiful gift. I have romantic ideas about birth because I know how amazing it is and I didn't want to lose this because we decided to do an unassisted birth. I also felt a nagging fear in my mind of leaving my children orphans and my husband a widow because of our untrained ignorant eyes. This is not a romantic feeling. So we sought out a midwife. It took weeks to find someone still in practice and we settled on the first person we could find because it seemed there was no one else. We liked her well enough and although her practice was far more medical than my ideas, I felt I could deal. At the very least, we had someone to attend our birth. At the very best, we forge an awesome friendship and relationship with her.
We had several visits with her and each time I felt I did have to defend my decisions I previously didn't have to but I was okay with that. She didn't really know us and she didn't yet know that we pretty much decline everything unless there is a reason to move forward with it! We thought we would have to push for the non-medical romantic idea of birth but with my birth warrior husband, we were okay with that. Then on Sunday night at about 9:30pm, she called and told us that the authorities showed up at her house the previous day, served her with a cease and desist order, and she would no longer be able to continue as our midwife. Mind you, I was 36 weeks, 2 days pregnant at this point. She then informed us that we wouldn't be able to be refunded our money at this time, if ever she could figure it out. While I felt really bad for her and her family, I felt pretty bad for my family and myself. How on earth was I going to find another midwife this late in the game? How on earth was I going to ask my husband for yet more money to cover the cost of a new midwife after we've already depleted our savings for this birth and are just now trying to build it up while trying to buy a house? What am I going to do? We faced unassisted birth, yet again! She said she would try to find someone else to cover for her but everyone she contacted felt uneasy because they felt they were next. Plus, they were looking at attending a birth for no promise of payment. I reached out to a midwife I had sincerely wanted to use in the very beginning and just thought she was too far. I found out she isn't that much farther away, and she gave me some information. She said she would be willing to take over our care and attend our birth if we could come up with the fee. I explained how it would be impossible for us at this point but she offered payments and we strongly considered. Husband called the initial midwife and explained that she needed to refund us the money so we could replace her services. He told her we were planning to use the new midwife and what her fees were going to be. So they worked some situation out, I don't know what it is, I just know that it made a new midwife available to us!
Yesterday evening we visited with her and my overwhelming feelings of unease suddenly disappeared the moment she opened her door and embraced me! She was simply amazing and I stood in awe of how blessed I am! I know God saw this whole situation from beginning to end and it was only me who saw the overhwelming moments. He had it all handled! I truly feel this is the best situation! Our new midwife will forever have my business until she retires or I am done having children, which ever comes first! I will recommend her to anyone I know and pay any amount of money for her to be our midwife. I have a deep love for our very first midwife, who attended our last three births and because of her, I have a standard of care that I desire. The new midwife offers that also and I just felt so honored to be her client yesterday. My blood pressure was nice and low because I was so at ease. I would compare it to what I would feel if Ina May Gaskin were my midwife: a sense of awe that this awesome midwife would want to be mine! Although I could only have a few days left of my pregnancy or I may have a few weeks left, I look forward to my visits with her, getting to know her better, and once again, I am so excited to birth this baby.
Hopefully after reading this, you see what women are facing in North Carolina. Women deserve to have the birth they desire no matter where that is: hospital, birth center, home. In a state where you can abort your baby for whatever reason you can think of, in a country where the sanctity of life is so disregarded, in a nation where children are a burden and humanistic desires trump God's heart for children and family, in a western civilization with a maternal and infant mortality rate higher than most third world countries (we rank 137th in the world as of 2010), certainly this anti-midwife move to force more women into the institution is not for the safety of the mothers and their babies. No! It's pretty clear is purely for the bottom line. It's purely a financially motivated decision! I will not conform! Homebirth is NOT illegal in North Carolina. Husband and I can birth at home all day, obtain a birth certificate pretty easily (depending on county)! Having a trained midwife who has had more than 1300 babies born in her presence with a loss rate of 5/<1300 (.03816%), seems much safer to me. The bottom line is that I, as a woman, have the right to murder my baby via abortion anytime I want to up to 34 weeks pregnant, therefore, I should also possess the right to birth my baby where I want to, with whom I want to, when I want to. No one's lack of profit from my birth should play a role in my rights! What kind of free country do we live in when the most basic human right, the right to be born, is governed by greedy thieves and laws made for criminals? It is not criminal to give birth, last time I checked but more and more I feel like we are becoming a small China. It's getting ridiculous and I urge you to fight for the rights of ALL women in North Carolina, no matter where they choose to birth! There shouldn't have to be laws to license midwives. We mothers, we're a lot smarter than these bureaucrats believe! History proves that anytime you regulate something or outlaw something, an underground movement arises. Each day, I become more of a revolutionary! Husband would be proud! Here's to doing what's right even though it may not always be legal because when the law of the land goes again the Word of God AND against the rights of the people, the law must be contended with!
